Sneaky, sneaky

How many limes are there?
I don't know!
Let's see. There's one..two...three...four....
Yes, there's four. And there's two more, so that's six*.

MATH GENIUS!!!!

Today Boy spied something in his grandmother's bag. A little something she was going to give him when she left.

He wants it. Now.

I'm going to make a machine to sneak it out of grandma's bag!
That's stealing!
No it's not. Grandma is going to give it to me when she leaves.
But it's not yours till she gives it to you. She has to give it to you, otherwise it's stealing.
But... she's going to be on a plane or something....
.....
But... the machine will steal it.

It'll stand up in court.



* Imagine, once more, that tone of voice reserved for the terminally stupid.

Great Escape!

Walking Boy home from school today, I was bent near double trying to follow his story about being waylaid after delivering the lunch orders to the canteen. I *think* the girl he went with went AWOL and he had to go to the teacher and let her know. But I'm not sure. I just nodded and said oh, ok. Which is what I say when I can't really follow what he's saying but I've already asked him for clarification three times and it's not any clearer.

After dinner, he announced that tomorrow he was going to escape from school via underground tunnel. He would burrow down deep under ground with little "pop ups" along the way, starting in the sand pit and going under the footpaths all the way to the city. And then he'd come back again in time for lunch.

We expressed some concern about him disappearing.

He reassured us that he wouldn't burrow down too deep.

We pointed out that the teachers would be worried if they couldn't find him.

He said he was just exaggerating! He'd just go from one end of the sand pit to the other.

Chip off the old tiles

Girl* fell off her chair at dinner tonight.

Boy immediately lept up and rushed to her side. What was he doing? Checking on her.... Naw, how sweet.

"Nobody pushed her mummy! She just fell off!" (Just for a change.)

I picked up Girl to comfort her. Turning around, I noticed Boy bent over, peering intently at the spot on the floor where Girl had fallen.

"What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just checking for dents..."




*She's not a baby any more. Time to face it :(

Give the Boy a medal

I've invented a new Olympics sport. 
First, you have to run really fast around and around three times so that the ninja fish can't bite you.
And then you have to kick the slidden fish. The slidden fish is dead.

Further details are still quite confused at this point.

Daddy's trying to figure out how you win. But you know you're finished when the ninja fish is dead. There's also a ninja tower, which attacks the dead fish. And then says sorry.

Is there a doctor in the house?

When Boy becomes Boss of the World, he intends to rid the planet of doctors.

Last time I took Boy to the doctor, I had to literally drag him in kicking and screaming. And then hold him down while the doctor checked his ears - he had an infection, poor sod.

On the way out, fueled by righteous indignation, he kept yelling: I'm NEVER coming here again!


Today he wanted me to come in for a checkup.

Me: Shall we go through to the consulting room, then?
Boy: No, we have to go straight to the hospital.
Me: Oh, ok then.
Boy: There's no assaulting room.

Glad to hear it.

Humour me

Boy: I'm going to get an elephant for our backyard! A FIFTY-FOOT elephant!
Me: Wow. That's a really big elephant. That'd be even bigger than our house!
Boy:.... No! [Tone reserved for the very stupid] It's the same size as a normal elephant, it just has more legs.

~~bucketafish~~

What goes around...

Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Why are you saying ok?
Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Just stop saying ok when I haven't asked you do do anything!
Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Mummy! She just keeps saying ok when I haven't even asked her to do something.
Me: I think she's just talking to herself. Like you do sometimes.
Boy: Hmmm. Well it's just annoying.

I hadn't noticed ....