Elementary!

The other day, Granddad and I were watching a Dr Who marathon - second Dr, black and white, state of the art special effects. Boy was not impressed, and since he weren't going to put something on that would be good for him*, he demanded that his toys and craft stuff be moved into another room. Peering round the corner, he would dash in during the ad breaks to get some more paper (and complain again about Silly Old Dr Who, I hate that show).

A little while later, he leapt into the room brandishing a small torch**, which he flashed at the screen a couple of times, then, muttering to himself he ran off again. His plan was foiled.

Next, he came out with a plastic screw jammed on to the end of a plastic screw driver which he flicked off at the TV screen. It also didn't work and his invention would have been confiscated if he hadn't scampered off right away.

Finally, he resorted to sign writing.

Look Mummy, this says: One, Two. No TV! That means you have to turn off this silly old TV show and let me watch some kiddy TV.

His sign read:

TV
ON
12

We pointed out that it was a bit backwards. He insisted it was correct, you just have to read it this way. We countered with an explanation of how English is read.

He sighed.

Mummy. It's a code. That's why it's written that way.




*Sometimes he rather magnanimously suggests we find something that everyone likes. Which is just his way of saying: Something I like.

**It's funny, because his "TV-off" invention bore remarkable similarity to the weapons taped to the arms of the Ice Warriors.

The telltale heart

For Mother's Day I got a lovely, heart-felt card from Boy in which he wrote of his devotion to me. Specifically, he stated that he loved me because I made yummy food for him.

In a fit of pique, exasperated once again at my abysmal dinner-time record - I'm just fed up with your food Mummy! - he confessed the following:

You know how I said in my card that I loved you because you made me yummy food? Well I only said that because I couldn't think of anything else.

Fabulous.

The good news is that he does still love me. He just genuinely couldn't think of any reason. And still can't.

I think that's fair enough, really.

Baby I've got your number

Etsh go baby!

That's just something cute Girl used to say any time we got in the car. She's all grown up now, though, and won't do it any more. Oh, yes, she's nearly 26 months old.

She picks up a lot of choice phrases from Boy, but also occasionally from us. I've been working hard to curb my potty mouth, and can often be heard to exclaim far out!*

She is nobody's fool, though, and has adapted this to:

Fuck out!

Fabulous.




*It's more like "fu--ar out"

Old Boy

Daddy was driving with Triple J on.

Boy: Can you just turn that off? It doesn't have proper news, just silly old music.

He much prefers the news on Radio National, apparently*.

A little while back we visited a country show, with animals and exhibits, dancing, bagpipes, and fun stuff for the kids. What was the best bit?

This:

You can't see them in this picture, but this little fenced off area** contained some rusty old machines, lovingly restored to more-or-less working order - Wow! Look mummy, pumps! - and a half dozen senior citizens hovering nearby, keeping a keen eye on their precious machines. It was just a little glimpse into the future of Boy....

The second best bit (and Girl's favourite)? Fucking bagpipes.

No way, man. Give me an old pump any day.





*This is his new favourite word, by the way.
** Was it to keep the fascinated crowds (where?) away from the machines? Or to keep the old geezers in?