Life's lessons learnt

Nobody likes it, but it's an important life lesson. And, yanno, if you try sometimes, you might just get what you need.

Girl was raging about an injustice, as she's wont to do and has done since she figured out how to scream.

I told her I understood that she was angry, but no she couldn't have juice because, despite her protestations to the contrary, we really and truly didn't have any. Because, you see, we can't always get what we want.

Boy: Yes, I know that. It's like when I want the house to take off but I don't have my jet packs.

Yes. Exactly this.

Once I caught a fish alive

Girl has learnt a thing or two from Boy.

Girl: Mummy, you in the water. I'm gonna fish ya! Swim! Swim!
Daddy: Is Mummy a good fish?
Girl: No. She's a dead fish. 'Cos I'm gonna eat fishies!

Happily, I'm still whole and live.

Easy as...

In the car today the kids were singing ABC... more or less.

Boy: ... Now I know my ABC...
Girl: ...next time I won't sing with you!

Girl's version is very cute, and she includes at least three "b"s.
My personal favourite is the mutant-hybrid letter: Gubble-eks

Boy tried to correct her, of course.
Duh-bul-yoo!

Another backseat conversation:

Boy: What was the story about?
Girl: Uh... I don't know.
Boy: Do you mean you forgot?
Girl: Uh...yeah. I forgot.
Boy: Well you can't say I don't know if you forgot. They don't mean the same thing, you know. So, did you forget what the story was about?
Girl: Uh... I don't know.

Chip off the old tiles

Girl* fell off her chair at dinner tonight.

Boy immediately lept up and rushed to her side. What was he doing? Checking on her.... Naw, how sweet.

"Nobody pushed her mummy! She just fell off!" (Just for a change.)

I picked up Girl to comfort her. Turning around, I noticed Boy bent over, peering intently at the spot on the floor where Girl had fallen.

"What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just checking for dents..."




*She's not a baby any more. Time to face it :(

What goes around...

Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Why are you saying ok?
Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Just stop saying ok when I haven't asked you do do anything!
Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Mummy! She just keeps saying ok when I haven't even asked her to do something.
Me: I think she's just talking to herself. Like you do sometimes.
Boy: Hmmm. Well it's just annoying.

I hadn't noticed ....

Tricks of the trade #351

Justababy, who isn't really a baby anymore*, is at an age where her long-held determination has finally coalesced with a newfound ability to actually follow through. Among other things, this currently manifests itself as her insistence on doing everything that Boy does. Eating everything Boy does. Drinking everything  Boy does. And so on.

Boy decided she should now be called Wanty Cat**. Because she wants everything that he has.

This evening Boy was playing in his room. Justababy wanted to, too. Mummy (that's me) wanted Justababy to get in the bath (and get off to bed).

What to do?!

Well, I very cunningly convinced Boy to help me*** by pretending that he was going to have a bath.

It worked a charm - what a win:win(win) resolution!

I now owe my son... something.




*I'll just keep calling her that to avoid confusing my reader(s)
** I'm assuming it's a play on Copy Cat. He thought I was just silly when I asked why it wasn't Wanty Dog or Wanty Bird.
***With much teenagerly sighing! "Ooooohhh kaaaaay"

And stay out!!!!

Some time ago, Boy suggested writing a sign for his toy room* saying "No babies allowed".

I pointed out that babies can't read. (Boy also can't write, so perhaps it doesn't matter anyway.)

Recently he has taken an interest in those signs with big red circles and lines through them....

This is now adorning his play room door:

It is, of course, a picture of a baby messing with his stuff, with a big circle around it and a line through it.



*NO! It's his workshop

Babies are just all right for Boy

We were out to dinner when Boy handed down his verdict on girls.

Girl babies are just all right for me. But when they are little girls they are not all right for me.

Us (taken aback): Why?

They are just too distracting for me when I'm trying to do something.


One of our hosts noted that this was probably going to be a bigger problem for him as he gets older.

Ninja strike

>>>This post contains no mention of Boy.*


I put a tired Justababy up on the bench so I could cook dinner. She enjoyed that. She also enjoyed dropping things over the edge.
Turns out she quite likes the sound of glass breaking, but isn't so keen on the vacuum.

Anyway, I decided to move her away from breakables to another end of the bench. All good.
I forgot the fruit bowl was right there.

The final score
Justababy: 5 (didn't get a shot of the nectarine she demolished, these ones were too hard you see)
Fruit: ..... will get their own back later

Can't wait till she gets molars! There'll be nothing to stop her then.



* Except that one

Boy versus Wild Baby

Boy spent this morning making a baby trap for Justababy to live in.
"And that will keep the family safe"

The unbearable grossness of sharing

Mummy! Can you please wash this for me?

It's a bit gross. It's got baby slobber on it and that's gross

Boy is still getting the hang of sharing with his sister.

Fageddaboudit

I mentioned previously Boy's passion for television. He has added to his repertoire with a mafia standover technique.

Mummy, can I watch TV? I promise I won’t erupt you...

Translation: Hey, that’s a nice baby you’ve got there. It would be such a shame if someone were to wake it up. You turn on the TV... I can guarantee that won’t happen.

A spoonful of sugar helps the vomit go down

I gonna teach Justababy how to eat. You just put it in and vomit it all out again.

When I was a baby, I vomited all over the place. It went out of my mouth and smashed through the window.

Actually, Boy wasn’t much of a chucker. Justababy, on the other hand, seems to like a good projectile vomit. (I do not.) The frequency of upchucks has decreased with time, but the introduction of solid food seemed to bring it out of her again. ;) As did a recent illness. I even tried giving her some medicine... which she promptly spewed up, along with everything else in her gut.

Boy has a medical kit and likes to use it. Around the time Justababy was sick, he gave me a checkup and some ‘special’ medicine to help me recover.

Here you go mummy, it’s vomititup medicine.

There you go.

Go on. You have to vomit it up mummy.

Vomit mummy!

[puke sound]

That’s good. Now you all better.

A dog! A dog! My baby for a dog!

Boy: Why do you have a baby?
Daddy: Well, we wanted to have more children.
Boy: Uuummmm, no, Granma said other words for this.
Daddy: What did Granma say?
Boy: Granma said you had a baby because you didn't want any dogs

This is the sort of answer you're likely to get from your grandmother if you ask far too many silly questions...
And this is the sort of 'logic' you get from a 3 year old...

'Mum, you don't want a baby anymore so you can get a dog.'

For the record: I never said that. And I still don't want a dog.

You can face anything with a towel

'Yes, I'm pushing Nut [beloved toy] in my trolley. Awww, he likes that. He will need some milk soon.
'Cos he took a long time to be born.
Now I will give you some milk. Come on, just drink the milk. Come on baby.
There. Now he's had enough.
Oh baby, you got milk all over me. Mum I need a towel.'

Together, mummy and Justababy have prepared Boy for the hard task of parenting.
He has taken to his role as big brother quite well, finding a niche for himself in the provision of amusing distractions and background noise. Sometimes he's called upon to talk to Justababy when mummy's busy. It helps when she's upset, because she finds absolutely everything about him hilarious.

'Mummy's going to put me in the oven and cook me and eat me all up. Then there will be no Boy to play with the baby'

And he's learning to share... the toys he doesn't really want. It is a hard lesson to master and he's been working on it since before Justababy was born.

'Me want to get in there.

...........

No! There IS room for me and the baby in there.'

Breastfeeding basics

After Justababy was born, Boy really, really wanted to help feed her.
We have finally managed to convice Boy that his boobies don't make milk. So now he wants me to put milk into them.... that's what breastpumps are for, you know?

Alan! Alan! Alan!

'I'm making a baby. Mummy, where is my screwdriver?'

Ah! The simple mechanics of conception! When I was pregnant with Justababy - 'No, she's not a girl. She's just a baby!' - the Boy gave birth to his toys many times. Then one day he presented me with his latest addition - an allen key in a little plastic baggie.
Oh, how he lovingly cared for that allen key. He fed it milk from his boobies and put it to bed.
Then one day, he whipped it out of its baggie and declared: 'Now it's a sword. I'm gonna go chop down some trees.'

Sniff.