Archimedes Principle (sort of) and the Boy's Theory of Relativity

I like to bucket water from the kids' nightly bath out onto the pot plants. It makes me feel like I've done something constructive with my day.
One day I was trying to take advantage of Justababy's naptime by doing just this, but Boy wanted me to stop and play. I explained I just needed to finish emptying the bath first.

But...mummy...you can just pull the plug out, you know. *

Then I tried explaining about time - specifically the need to complete tasks within set time frames. Boy was unimpressed.

But...mummy... time isn't real, you know. It's just imaginary. *




*Imagine this in your best god-she's-so-silly tone of voice

Backseat Driver 2

Grandma: Boy, you were very quiet in the car on the way here.

Boy: Yes, I was watching Granddad to make sure he used the proper controls and pedals. 

Stay tuned - I'll ask him when he gets home whether Granddad passed the test.

Mummy meanest

This happened quite some time ago, before Boy could talk quite so well..

My brother was visiting - let's call him Uncle P - he comes and goes a fair bit. One day he popped his head round the doorway and said "I've done something a bit silly"... He then produced a small animal cage.
I thought: ****!! He's bought a dog. (He'd threatened to before, and once called from the pet store - barking dogs in background - saying "I'm going to do it!").

But no. It was worse.

He'd bought a ferret. (I'm not keen on ferrets, are you? Apparently some people like them.)

Anyway, he then disappeared off to work somewhere for a few weeks. After a day or two, it occurred to me that perhaps I should feed the ferret something. I didn't know what ferrets eat and rather than consulting google, I thought: Maybe they like cat food. I know it's palatable to dogs and cockroaches at least.

As Boy was keen to be helpful and just getting the gist of following instructions I asked him to go round the corner to the kitchen and bring me back 2 pieces of cat food. (He could count to 2 - so proud!)

Well I heard some rustling in the cat bowl, then he reappeared around the corner... with nothing in his hand. But he did have a rather odd expression on his face - something like a cross between Ugh and Why-would-my-mummy-do-this-to-me?.

He was swishing something around in his mouth.

......

Poor love must have thought I was a very mean mummy telling him to eat cat food. I pulled the biscuits out and reassured him that I didn't really want him eating it. I asked if he liked it and got an emphatic No for answer.

He did correctly pick up two pieces though. :D

Boy versus Wild Baby

Boy spent this morning making a baby trap for Justababy to live in.
"And that will keep the family safe"

Bit of a worry

Boy is staying with his grandparents. My mum called this evening to share:

Boy was in the kitchen at his grandparent's place having some dinner, with Tony Abbot on in the background saying he disapproved of gay marriage. Grandma and Grandad think it's a complete non-issue and said so. Boy says: Well, I don't like it. It worries me.

Seriously WTF....

A bone to pick

Boy: Mummy, can you come please? I need your help with something.

Me: Ok. What's up?

Boy: Well, you see, there's a Tasteosaurus in the way here.

Me: A Tasteosaurus, huh? What's that then?

Boy: A Tasteosaurus is a kind of dinosaur that steals people's taste buds. But it's in the way. And we need to find a way to make it dead.

Me: Right.

Boy: Oh, I can use this ball to hit it. And make its bones go crunch.

Me: Ok.

Boy: [smacking ground with ball] CRUNCH! And now the meat is coming off them.