The ego is strong with this one

Boy is all about Boy. What Boy wants. What Boy does not want. No one else really enters into it.

Want Boy to do something? You'd best devise an explanation for how it's really in his best interest.

Sometimes I manage that, but sometimes....

"Then I will just call my monkey crew. And they will throw bananas at anyone who tries to make me do what I don't want to do."

Oh. Imaginary monkeys throwing imaginary bananas. I'm scared.

"No. They're REAL! I call them up then they come through the phone."

Uh huh.

"They come through the phone with a ginormous box of bananas. And they throw them round all over the place."

Keep a lid on it

Boy: Have you heard about bottom lids?
Me: Errrr. No.
Boy: Well, unfortunately, you know some people have a chemical in their bottoms. And they need to filter it out.
Me: Right.
Boy: So they need a bottom lid on their bottom. To filter out the chemicals.
Me: Oh.
Boy: And they have to keep it on for TWO days. And they have to strap it on over their bottom cheeks.
Me: ......
Boy: Do you want to see a picture of someone with a bottom lid that I drew?

.... do you?

Sweet dreams are made of these...

As you may know, Boy has quite an imagination. He's had some very interesting dreams at times.

The ones that really stand out in my memory are the nightmares, though.

My inconsolable Boy yelling "I want my HEEEEAAAAARRRRRT!" "I want my HEEEEAAAAARRRRRT!" really upset me.

Then Daddy asked me what he wanted his hat for. What a relief! And that made much more sense (sort of).

"I don't like CORN RIIIIIIICE."

This was easier to interpret - too much risotto Mummy.

And, then, last night I heard my Boy sobbing in his sleep. Whatever was wrong this time?

"I overloaded my engines!"

Apparently he was dreaming about Thomas the Tank Engine.

Tricks of the trade #351

Justababy, who isn't really a baby anymore*, is at an age where her long-held determination has finally coalesced with a newfound ability to actually follow through. Among other things, this currently manifests itself as her insistence on doing everything that Boy does. Eating everything Boy does. Drinking everything  Boy does. And so on.

Boy decided she should now be called Wanty Cat**. Because she wants everything that he has.

This evening Boy was playing in his room. Justababy wanted to, too. Mummy (that's me) wanted Justababy to get in the bath (and get off to bed).

What to do?!

Well, I very cunningly convinced Boy to help me*** by pretending that he was going to have a bath.

It worked a charm - what a win:win(win) resolution!

I now owe my son... something.




*I'll just keep calling her that to avoid confusing my reader(s)
** I'm assuming it's a play on Copy Cat. He thought I was just silly when I asked why it wasn't Wanty Dog or Wanty Bird.
***With much teenagerly sighing! "Ooooohhh kaaaaay"

Out of the blue

Boy wanted to know why the air isn't coloured.

I pondered this a moment, then proposed that it would  make it pretty hard to see things if it weren't transparent. He agreed. "We'd just keep bumping into things!"

"Yes, so isn't it good that it's not coloured?" Well, actually, no.... he wants it blue.

He ran off to get his Blue-enator and some super-duper dye to fix this problem.

Stay tuned....

The Thinker

Boy just had me sit down on the couch to think about what I'd done. "No, don't get up. You have to stay right there when I leave. Just sit down and think about what you've done."

I protest - "But I don't know what I've done, what are you talking about. Why are we doing this?"

"You just know mummy, so just think about it. And then go hmmmmm*."

He returns. "Now, what did you do?"

I still don't know.

"Hmmmmm. I'm going back over there to think about what you did. Hmmmmm."

I must admit, being on the receiving end has left me a bit perplexed about this discipline technique! I asked Boy to explain it to me - how can I think about what I did if he won't tell me what it's about?

"Well, mummy, that's just what thinking is all about."


* I have the strangest feeling that his school teacher hmmms a lot....

And stay out!!!!

Some time ago, Boy suggested writing a sign for his toy room* saying "No babies allowed".

I pointed out that babies can't read. (Boy also can't write, so perhaps it doesn't matter anyway.)

Recently he has taken an interest in those signs with big red circles and lines through them....

This is now adorning his play room door:

It is, of course, a picture of a baby messing with his stuff, with a big circle around it and a line through it.



*NO! It's his workshop