Boy and Girl had been conspiring on some piece of mischief or other, when Boy approached Daddy:
Boy: I was just telling Girl that if your mummy and daddy both die, if you train your cat or dog really, really, really, reeaaally well, they can look after you instead.
Daddy: Don't you think that being taken care of by your grandma or granddad might be better?
[silence]
Worried that Boy was close to tears - perhaps grappling with thoughts of mortality - Daddy pulled him close and gave him a cuddle.
Daddy: Are you worried about mummy and daddy not being here one day?
Boy: No. I'm upset because your ruined the story I was telling Girl!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Blowing in the wind
Do you know, when I'm in pre-primary - which is not that far away, after the school holidays - I and Daddy are going to make a chinook. A REAL chinook.
Oh, ok.
Yes, and we're going to go away on holidays in it. And you'll have to put some mooky in some bottles for Girl. Because we'll be going for months and months.
Oh, are you and Girl going without us?
No, the whole family will go together, but there's no bed so you can't lie down during the day.
Ok. Where will we sleep?
Oh, well.. there are sleeping quarters. But they're potential sleeping quarters, so there's a sign during the day saying you can't sleep here. Not until night time.
Right.
And do you know what the roof will be made out of?
Nope.
Wood! And we'll use plastic and metal and stuff we find in the back yard.
Ok.
And guess how we'll do the washing while we're on holiday? Because there's no washing machine.
I don't know.
In the swimming pool! And we'll open a little hatch in the floor and squeeze the washing out so the water goes out the bottom of the chinook. And then we'll hang them out to dry in the air as we're flying along.
Ok.
And now we have to look on the internet to find out how to make a real, working chinook from backyard detritus.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Show me the money
We recently decided Boy was ready for a little more responsibility around the home and some financial remuneration in return.
He's had some funny ideas about work and money in the past. One day, quite some time ago, he decided to unroll toilet paper all over the house. I berated him for wasting money - now daddy would have to work even more to buy more toilet paper. Oh my folly! If it wasn't bad enough to be guilt-tripping a two year old, he took me literally and started telling anyone who'd listen that daddy worked in order to buy toilet paper.
Then, Boy and I went along to a riverside festival where daddy was helping on a one-hole golf game. After that, he would tell everyone that daddy worked with golf balls at a park.
More recently, we managed to explain to him that actually daddy mostly worked behind a desk with a computer. So, having explained the concept of pocket money - you work and we pay you, like daddy works to earn money - he declared: Yes, that's a great idea mummy! You can set me up on the computer with some work to do and then I can earn some money.
We explained his work would be doing helpful things around the house. And it's been good - he's been generally a lot more helpful!
We decided on $3 per week, but $1 would be 'taxed' for a savings account. He is very keen to find out what he could spend $2 on. $2 doesn't buy much these days, of course. It is the price of a round trip on the miniature railway out near his grandparents' place, which is a good reference point for him. After handing over his first lot of earnings, I asked him whether he wanted to spend it now or wait till next week, when - presuming he was similarly helpful - he would have more. How much more? Two dollars, plus two dollars equals....? FOUR!
Oh! I'll wait till I have FOUR dollars!
We scoped out K-Mart, calculating how many weeks he'd have to save to buy particular toys. He really wanted the big lego set, but when I explained that would mean waiting an entire year, he thought perhaps he'd choose a smaller thing.
And every time he NEEDS something I say: Yes, maybe you can buy some with your pocket money. And today, he's made his first purchase. I bet you'll never guess....
Yep, a packet of plastic hooks for hanging stuff on your wall. They will be used to finish the construction of his cubby house.
He's had some funny ideas about work and money in the past. One day, quite some time ago, he decided to unroll toilet paper all over the house. I berated him for wasting money - now daddy would have to work even more to buy more toilet paper. Oh my folly! If it wasn't bad enough to be guilt-tripping a two year old, he took me literally and started telling anyone who'd listen that daddy worked in order to buy toilet paper.
Then, Boy and I went along to a riverside festival where daddy was helping on a one-hole golf game. After that, he would tell everyone that daddy worked with golf balls at a park.
More recently, we managed to explain to him that actually daddy mostly worked behind a desk with a computer. So, having explained the concept of pocket money - you work and we pay you, like daddy works to earn money - he declared: Yes, that's a great idea mummy! You can set me up on the computer with some work to do and then I can earn some money.
We explained his work would be doing helpful things around the house. And it's been good - he's been generally a lot more helpful!
We decided on $3 per week, but $1 would be 'taxed' for a savings account. He is very keen to find out what he could spend $2 on. $2 doesn't buy much these days, of course. It is the price of a round trip on the miniature railway out near his grandparents' place, which is a good reference point for him. After handing over his first lot of earnings, I asked him whether he wanted to spend it now or wait till next week, when - presuming he was similarly helpful - he would have more. How much more? Two dollars, plus two dollars equals....? FOUR!
Oh! I'll wait till I have FOUR dollars!
We scoped out K-Mart, calculating how many weeks he'd have to save to buy particular toys. He really wanted the big lego set, but when I explained that would mean waiting an entire year, he thought perhaps he'd choose a smaller thing.
And every time he NEEDS something I say: Yes, maybe you can buy some with your pocket money. And today, he's made his first purchase. I bet you'll never guess....
Yep, a packet of plastic hooks for hanging stuff on your wall. They will be used to finish the construction of his cubby house.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Sneaky, sneaky
How many limes are there?
I don't know!
Let's see. There's one..two...three...four....
Yes, there's four. And there's two more, so that's six*.
MATH GENIUS!!!!
Today Boy spied something in his grandmother's bag. A little something she was going to give him when she left.
He wants it. Now.
I'm going to make a machine to sneak it out of grandma's bag!
That's stealing!
No it's not. Grandma is going to give it to me when she leaves.
But it's not yours till she gives it to you. She has to give it to you, otherwise it's stealing.
But... she's going to be on a plane or something....
.....
But... the machine will steal it.
It'll stand up in court.
* Imagine, once more, that tone of voice reserved for the terminally stupid.
I don't know!
Let's see. There's one..two...three...four....
Yes, there's four. And there's two more, so that's six*.
MATH GENIUS!!!!
Today Boy spied something in his grandmother's bag. A little something she was going to give him when she left.
He wants it. Now.
I'm going to make a machine to sneak it out of grandma's bag!
That's stealing!
No it's not. Grandma is going to give it to me when she leaves.
But it's not yours till she gives it to you. She has to give it to you, otherwise it's stealing.
But... she's going to be on a plane or something....
.....
But... the machine will steal it.
It'll stand up in court.
* Imagine, once more, that tone of voice reserved for the terminally stupid.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Great Escape!
Walking Boy home from school today, I was bent near double trying to follow his story about being waylaid after delivering the lunch orders to the canteen. I *think* the girl he went with went AWOL and he had to go to the teacher and let her know. But I'm not sure. I just nodded and said oh, ok. Which is what I say when I can't really follow what he's saying but I've already asked him for clarification three times and it's not any clearer.
After dinner, he announced that tomorrow he was going to escape from school via underground tunnel. He would burrow down deep under ground with little "pop ups" along the way, starting in the sand pit and going under the footpaths all the way to the city. And then he'd come back again in time for lunch.
We expressed some concern about him disappearing.
He reassured us that he wouldn't burrow down too deep.
We pointed out that the teachers would be worried if they couldn't find him.
He said he was just exaggerating! He'd just go from one end of the sand pit to the other.
After dinner, he announced that tomorrow he was going to escape from school via underground tunnel. He would burrow down deep under ground with little "pop ups" along the way, starting in the sand pit and going under the footpaths all the way to the city. And then he'd come back again in time for lunch.
We expressed some concern about him disappearing.
He reassured us that he wouldn't burrow down too deep.
We pointed out that the teachers would be worried if they couldn't find him.
He said he was just exaggerating! He'd just go from one end of the sand pit to the other.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Chip off the old tiles
Girl* fell off her chair at dinner tonight.
Boy immediately lept up and rushed to her side. What was he doing? Checking on her.... Naw, how sweet.
"Nobody pushed her mummy! She just fell off!" (Just for a change.)
I picked up Girl to comfort her. Turning around, I noticed Boy bent over, peering intently at the spot on the floor where Girl had fallen.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just checking for dents..."
*She's not a baby any more. Time to face it :(
Boy immediately lept up and rushed to her side. What was he doing? Checking on her.... Naw, how sweet.
"Nobody pushed her mummy! She just fell off!" (Just for a change.)
I picked up Girl to comfort her. Turning around, I noticed Boy bent over, peering intently at the spot on the floor where Girl had fallen.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm just checking for dents..."
*She's not a baby any more. Time to face it :(
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Give the Boy a medal
I've invented a new Olympics sport.
First, you have to run really fast around and around three times so that the ninja fish can't bite you.
And then you have to kick the slidden fish. The slidden fish is dead.
Further details are still quite confused at this point.
Daddy's trying to figure out how you win. But you know you're finished when the ninja fish is dead. There's also a ninja tower, which attacks the dead fish. And then says sorry.
First, you have to run really fast around and around three times so that the ninja fish can't bite you.
And then you have to kick the slidden fish. The slidden fish is dead.
Further details are still quite confused at this point.
Daddy's trying to figure out how you win. But you know you're finished when the ninja fish is dead. There's also a ninja tower, which attacks the dead fish. And then says sorry.
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