Is there a doctor in the house?

When Boy becomes Boss of the World, he intends to rid the planet of doctors.

Last time I took Boy to the doctor, I had to literally drag him in kicking and screaming. And then hold him down while the doctor checked his ears - he had an infection, poor sod.

On the way out, fueled by righteous indignation, he kept yelling: I'm NEVER coming here again!


Today he wanted me to come in for a checkup.

Me: Shall we go through to the consulting room, then?
Boy: No, we have to go straight to the hospital.
Me: Oh, ok then.
Boy: There's no assaulting room.

Glad to hear it.

Humour me

Boy: I'm going to get an elephant for our backyard! A FIFTY-FOOT elephant!
Me: Wow. That's a really big elephant. That'd be even bigger than our house!
Boy:.... No! [Tone reserved for the very stupid] It's the same size as a normal elephant, it just has more legs.

~~bucketafish~~

What goes around...

Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Why are you saying ok?
Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Just stop saying ok when I haven't asked you do do anything!
Justababy: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay.
Boy: Mummy! She just keeps saying ok when I haven't even asked her to do something.
Me: I think she's just talking to herself. Like you do sometimes.
Boy: Hmmm. Well it's just annoying.

I hadn't noticed ....

Would I lie to you?

I witnessed Boy riding his tricycle into Justababy the other day. It was quite deliberate - not only was he giggling, but he reversed up a bit and rode back into her a couple of times before I could get there.

So the tricycle went up in the wardrobe and there was much wailing and angry crying.

I decided to talk to Boy about it when he demanded his trike back.

Me: What were you doing with your bike?
Boy: NOTHING!
Me: I saw you riding into your sister with it.
Boy: Well it was just an accident!
Me: I don't think it was an accident, really.
Boy: Well I just couldn't see where I was going.

I read somewhere that kids develop the ability to lie around the age of 5 or so. We we have a big 'check' for that developmental milestone at just shy of four and a half.

Me: I think you're telling me lies. You know, we don't tell each other lies?*
Boy: Why don't we?
Me: Because we love each other, so we tell each other the truth.**
Boy: We we do tell each other lies because we hate each other.

Mkay.


*This is manifestly untrue in light of the proceeding conversation, of course.
**Lame?

The sins of the father

I'm a bit of a duffer because I have got duffer DNA from daddy.

Reason I can't eat my dinner #435

I'm scared to eat lots of chicken because it might come alive.